Cause/ Effect Essay

Finding My Way

I had been looking for my own way in life. Until I graduated from my high school, I believed that everything my older brother said to me was right. He was so logical and smart, I was eager to be like him. However, now I don’t want to be like him anymore even though I still really respect him, because I found my own way in life. I learned that having responsibility for my own choices makes me more confident about my life.
During junior high school and high school, I had compared myself to him. I was always trying to imitate him because I had no confidence for my own choices. I wasn’t able to be like him. The more I tried to be like him, the more I found that it was really tough. I always asked him to give me a clear choice. I tried to follow his path. For example, He was president of student government in junior high school and high school. I am sure that everybody in both schools did know who he was. I joined the student government because he was there. No matter what I wanted to do or not do, I took it for granted that I was able to participate in it. As a result, teachers had called me “Satoshi’s sister” for three years. That was so humiliating but I didn’t know how I should be at all. At that time, my older brother was in charge of my life in every way.
When I was a 3rd year high school student, I made a big decision by myself for the first time in my life. I had an ideal university which I really wanted to enter. Yet, I wasn’t able to pass the university’s entrance examination. There were two choices at that time. One was to take the other universities’ exams, and then to enter the university which I scored the highest for. The other choice was to enter a cram school and to study one more year. Then, I would take the entrance examination of the university I really wanted to enter. I wanted to ask my older brother about this decision as usual, but at that time he wasn’t in Japan. He had left for Russia to study abroad. So, I asked to my parents what I should do. They said they wanted me to choose the path that I wanted to take. I was so confused because I felt that I couldn’t make any excuses because it was my decision. I strongly thought that I couldn’t give up and must carry on. Eventually, I chose to go to cram school to study hard, then, I passed every university examination that I took. My confidence grew.
Through one year that I was in the cram school, I had many chances to decide things by myself. I considered my life and future seriously. At the end of 2005, I decided to take AIU’s entrance examination for myself. I decided to come here even though my older brother objected to me coming to AIU. I could consider his opinion as advice to be objective about my life and to choose my future for myself intelligently. Since I made this decision for myself, and now I don’t regret my choice at all.
Through those experiences I learned that I can have confidence if I have responsibility for my choices. Sometimes it is hard but it is very important to enjoy my life as my own. I was able to be patient and not give up so easily. I finally found that I have to live my own life. I can feel I am not anyone else now.